American Wanderlust

Do we flee to escape our trauma or are we in search of a better future?

I’ve had cowboys and westerns on my mind for some time as I consume those stories and fill pages in my journal, but the juxtaposition of three texts is inspiring me to think more deeply about the theme of American Wanderlust. This was actually the theme of an old graduate paper that is now lost. I could not even tell you which texts inspired that original paper. This time around the three texts in question are The Stand, Blood Dazzler, and Giant (although perhaps A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms might be entering the chat as the first season of the show just wrapped which inspired me to pull my book out of storage).

My Slow Read Book Club just finished up Book 1 of The Stand and almost everyone left alive has taken to the road as the world as they knew it has come to an end and the future of humanity is very uncertain. My Poetry Gauntlet cohort read Blood Dazzler which is a poetic journey tracking Hurricane Katrina as it transforms into a full-blown mistress of destruction from August 23, 2005, the day Tropical Depression Twelve developed, through August 28. While I have vivid memories of the images described in these poems (safely experienced via television), one of the memories of Hurricane Katrina that haunts me is the aftermath. Not only were 1,800 people killed by the storm and aftermath but so many lives were uprooted and devastated by the loss of loved ones, homes, and communities. It is estimated that 40% of those displaced by the storm (what a bloodless word) never returned. Last, but not least, my America250 Book Club is reading Giant which is not about one catastrophic event, but the generational drama of a Texas family does feel like a great way to connect these imaginary and real catastrophes with an exploration of why Americans are so rootless (and how that plays out in our political and personal relationships as well as the stories we tell ourselves).

While many Americans want to believe (and persist in believing despite much evidence to the contrary) that the United States of America was a virgin birth, we know that there were many peoples here long before us and even those early “pilgrims” did not arrive on Plymouth Rock unencumbered by baggage. My family were recent enough arrivals that I personally knew some of those born in the Netherlands. My maternal grandmother was a first generation American who grew up speaking Dutch as well as English. I think the fact that I only learned this in my 50s (and not when planning a trip to the Netherlands in college) tells you so much about my upbringing (and how much of true importance is subtext). My ancestors came here as contract farm labor, for religious reasons, for economic advancement, and to escape conscription in the army. That makes my family pretty representative of American immigrants and why I want our immigration system fixed and streamlined so families with stories like mine have a future here too.

But the truth is that we are all the descendants of people who left home, who moved from one place to another (even the indigenous peoples who well preceded the Europeans). Certainly some of these people were brought here against their will or as indentured servants, debtors, or contract labor (which implies not slavery but often less than free choice). I know the letters and stories of my family in the Finger Lakes region of New York State as well as families who settled in Eastern Kentucky where I now live have written about choosing places that echoed their homelands physically. We see this in place names throughout the US that transplant the place names of Europe even when there is no physical resemblance. We all have conflicted feelings about our ancestors and ancestral places.

Both The Stand and Blood Dazzler tell the small personal stories of trauma that ripple out from any major catastrophe as does A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. As I digest each of these texts I think again and again how America refuses to confront and accept all the traumas that brought us to these shores and that we continue to inflict on each other because we are constantly running away from them. One of the reasons we are drawn to generational family dramas (whether in Westeros or Texas) is that we live in hope that someone will break the chain of trauma rather than passing it on to the next generation. Don’t spoil Giant for me, I’ve only just begun, but based on six decades of reading experience I’m not hopeful.

So all these texts are talking to me but the primary conversation is between Blood Dazzler and A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms because both are explorations of the exploitation of power (although I’m already getting hints this will also be true of Giant). The US was founded by rich powerful men using the blood of regular men and women and so it should not be surprising that the system these men build continues to protect and privilege rich powerful men. The fact that the Epstein files are (very belatedly) ruining the lives of some rich powerful men is shocking to me, but not comforting because women are dead and fled and will likely never see justice (yes, that is a A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms callback). But in the meantime those rich and powerful men have convinced far too many of us for far too long that the emancipation proclamation solved racism for all time. Of course, all executive orders are both awesome and long-lasting! Slavery and colonialism taint all European powers and (almost?) every modern civilization, but the fact that America’s constitution predates the outlaw of the first and our government continues to practice the second is a real problem. I’ve been thinking about this line from Giant:

In Texas the cattle come first, then the men, then the horses, and last the women.

Property, ownership, possession are what give men their power and we all know that far too many men see people of color and women as their property and worth less than many other possessions. We cannot count on the old gods or the new to give us justice as we see over and over again in Blood Dazzler. No one can stop a hurricane, but those with money and power are not left to suffer or die. We need stories like these to remind ourselves that we are the products of our ancestors and ancestral places, but we are not doomed to repeat the same mistakes. What stories are you consuming to help you learn and grow as a human?

Stop by my chat to add your thoughts to the conversation or to challenge mine to a joust! Also, tell me about your sacred communities. I turn to stories as well as my communities when I need consolation because I am disappointed and disillusioned by the world and life. Where do you find comfort and consolation when life is challenging?

Community/Text Talk updates

So what has been going on with my communities and texts since my last update (Feb. 18) when Charlie Chaplin sent me into a tailspin?

Watching in Community: I have to start here because all I can think about is Season One of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. I loved the book (and my love of George R.R. Martin has only grown over the years). The Dunk and Egg stories were so important to me that I regularly recommended them to others. As I noted before I pulled my copy out of a box and will revisit some time soon (unless I lend my copy out). But this section is about watching not reading. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is a wonderful story just for itself, but because it is a GRRM story it is also a wonderful examination of politics and humanity where small folk are always disposable in the game of thrones and you best be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. For the Pantsuit Politics Book and Film Club my husband and I watched Defiance. We didn’t love it and I didn’t review it on Letterboxd, but there are definitely some interesting themes to explore and reasons to watch (exploration of brotherhood, just for example). I continued following the New Rockstars Road to Doomsday with Iron Man which brought home to me all the reasons I love superhero movies and Robert Downey Jr. Truly worth the re-watch! One of my favorite podcasts (my go-to pop culture source even more than New Rockstars) is X-Ray Vision and they will embark on their own Doomsday prep soon which has me excited.

Reading in Community: I just finished The Maid for my library book club and found it a satisfying read and previously finished Blood Dazzler (more above) which is a book of poetry but it also tells a story so if you are not typically much of poetry book reader (which is me) this might be a great place to start. I do highly recommend the poetry of Patricia Smith! I am currently reading Shark Heart. I do not know who sent me on this journey (it was on hold at the library for a long time) but it is a very interesting read. Not my usual cup of tea and probably not a book I would have chosen on my own but definitely worth the read (so far) although trying to explain it to others is also impossible. Also reading Giant for the America250 Book Club with the goal to be done by March 15. Finally, I am reading a huge fantasy trilogy, The Deeds of Paksenarrion, which might have been a mistake to check out of the library because I’m not sure I can complete it before it is due although I’m very much enjoying it. However, I keep telling myself it is three books in one volume and if I only get through Sheepfarmer’s Daughter by the due date that is OK. So far I’m enjoying this very much! Check out Fable for lists of what I’m reading (If The Stand isn’t near the top back out and refresh) and have completed (if The Maid isn’t near the top back out and refresh).

Writing in Community: I visited campus this week to work with pre-service educators and got the chance to talk about writing poetry with some friends which might lead to future writing in community but not until after I’ve survived all the teen writing events coming in late March and early April (it will be a busy three weeks) and of course the Rebel Cartographers meet every Thursday (recent prompt: Tracking Events). Also re-engaged with one of my favorite writing communities: LexPoMo.

Looking ahead to this weekend and the next month-ish I am a bit worried that I might have overbooked my practice retirement but only time will tell. What your retirement goals or worries?